As humans created in God's image, we have the unspoken inner knowing that our lives should matter and have value. Conversely, confirming our worth can be as elusive as the proverbial needle in the haystack. Ask yourself: Have I ever felt, or do I now feel, small and insignificant? The feelings come when we have compared ourselves against others and rule that we fall short; additionally, when we look for significance and approval in the eyes of others, their input can disappoint and devastate. Of course, both methods are faulty. How so?
First, our inner narrative naturally gravitates toward negative feedback. Secondly, because others are on their own search for significance, they cannot pour into our soul, because their own well-spring of significance needs to be opened and flowing from a reliable source. Let's look at how the search and failure play out in life.
The search for significance & "The Voices"
We all hear voices from inside us, whether we want to admit it, or not. We hear voices from individuals in our past and our present. We hear voices that originate from our experiences. And we hear from our Inner Critic, who can speak the loudest and capture our attention the soonest. To unveil the Inner Critic's ruthless judgments and ability to shrink a person's self-worth, sometimes these words are spoken:
"You did it again!"
"Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut?"
"You're so stupid!"
"You're not ________"
The Inner Critic, like an aggressive prosecutor, has ample evidence for condemnation, right? Past and present failures speak in picturesque wording, resulting often in our hearts and heads falling low as we recall those unpleasant times. Sometimes we can call on our skilled, Inner Defense Advocate to invalidate the Critic's claims, and we come out looking good. Other times, there isn't enough countering evidence to convince the Judge, so we don't hear the words we long to hear: Innocent. Acceptable. Valuable.
Looking inside for significance seems fallible and unreliable.
The search for significance from others
We can always find a reason to feel small when we look to others for our worth. Do you observe body language and listen for affirming words and acceptance? Honestly, we all do, at times. Unfortunately, external input isn't always affirming:
"She looked at me funny."
"What did she mean by that?"
"I think she hates me."
Even when external input validates our significance, we must conclude that we should not look to others to find our significance, because only One holds the divine measuring stick; keep reading.
Looking outside for significance is not reliable.
Discovering my Creator's thoughts of me
He saw my humble beginning.
"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:13-17
He knows my past.
"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing." Romans 7:18, 19
He sees me in my present. He accepts and loves me unconditionally.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..."
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God." Romans 8:1, John 3:16-18
He has good plans for my future.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Agree with God and be at peace. Speak to yourself.
When I feel small, I must remember:
- His estimation of my worth is the only opinion that matters.
- He holds the divine measuring stick.
- He looks at me through the lens of love because of His Son, who died for me; thereby, taking all the condemnation I rightfully deserved in the past and might deserve again in the future.
Your search for significance can end there. It's no small discovery when you find that you are loved and accepted unconditionally and that your life has extreme value and purpose.
Only looking up for significance IS reliable.
The search for significance found in our Creator feels just right; the Inner Critic and the External Voices become silent because they have moved far away.
